Climate change is shifting the world tremendously. When people speak about global warming, there intentions are to speak about gas pollution and carbon dioxide; the cause of global warming. Because of greenhouse gases, climate change, and human activities, the Earth continues to become warmer. According to a documentary film by Davis Guggenheim “The Inconvenient Truth”, starring as Al Gore, Al Gore touches on how climate is changing because of the atmosphere layer being infected. When the suns energy hits the Earth, it warms the Earth for a certain amount of time, but with gas pollution and carbon dioxide in the air, it thickens the layer of the atmosphere. This it traps the heat radiation, causing the heat to go nowhere. Similar to Mark Maslin, Maslin stated that “the greenhouse gases trap and re-emit some of this long-wave radiation, and warm the atmosphere” (Maslin 4). This shows how the greenhouse gases play a role in making the Earth warmer because it is not releasing the atmosphere layer.
Due to the heat being trapped in the atmosphere, the Earth is being affected. With the increase in heat, this causes forest fires to occur. Al Gore stated “2005 was the hottest year.” This exemplifies how the Earths temperature is high, and that many places are being affected by it. Since the Earth is getting warmer, the heat is also melting the glaciers in the oceans. Once the glaciers are completely melted, the sun still hits the water making the water warm, and making it rise. Other than this being a problem to humans, this affects animals. This mainly affects to animals like polar bears because it will be more difficult for them to find a home with all the ice fully gone. This also creates floods and hurricane that can be a problem to places near the ocean. Floods were a result of hurricane occurrences, and an example that happened was Hurricane Katrina. It was such a disaster that it globally made the world aware of the issue at hand and made them advocate for a solution.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1) Yes, it does because in most of the sentences in this blog, you give good, detailed scientific facts that are informative.
ReplyDelete2) My first concern is that you jump from topic to topic with nearly every next sentence and don't focus your paragraph on just one topic.
My second concern is that I felt like you could have made the last two lines into the last paragraph, not needing a new, two sentence paragraph.
3) I liked the way you used the word "exemplifies".
1) Yes, Victor you did complete the assignment by summarizing the scientific explanation for climate changes. You did this by using specific scientific details to provide scientific insight to the problem of climate changes.
ReplyDelete2) The first concern I had with this summary was that the order didn't flow because some topics could have been linked. Another concern was that your ending needed a few more explaining and evidence because you didn't mention it before.
3) What you did very well was your use of evidence even for small facts, and you broke up your ideas instead of concentrating on only one idea and not having variety in your summary.
Your assignment follow the criteria for the task because the evidence you presented are very strong and science related like the task required them to be; however, there were places where your sentences were not science related or were not well developed. For example The third sentence of your second paragraph introduces a topic that has no scientific affilliations, but could be very strong and science related if the idea and the sentence was completed. Also there are places in your writing that need more explanations and more details.An example is the first sentence in your first paragraph.This sentence would be alot stronger if you were to state how the climate change is shifting the world tremendously. Additionally, there are some sentences that are unclear like the first one of your second paragraph. There seems to be no connections between the cause of the atmosphere and the way it affects the earth.
ReplyDeleteover all your evidences were very science related and there were some good intentions and concepts behind them.
You do show the scientific explanation that was asked in hand; however, I have two concerns on your essay.
ReplyDelete1. Some parts in your summary repeats the information already given. You have to be aware of what you have or haven't already written.
2. Be aware of your syntax and how it is being used in the sentence. Proof read your summary to see that you have written the correct words that you meant to write.
Otherwise the summary was factual and your resources were well cited.
Hey Victor,
ReplyDeleteI thought that you did a good job in answering the question. You cited a lot of scientific fact from all 3 articles and the movie, and you did a great job on it too. Despite your "cite-ing" abilities, there are still a few issues that need to worked out. You make a few plural errors. You also state your facts far away from your scientific facts. You should use them in unison to back up each other to make your ideas stronger.
Good Luck on the Essay
Omari Matthew
Hey Victor! You back up almost all of your facts presented with some type of scientific explanation. I think you did a good job at staying on topic and explaining the scientific reasoning behind global warming. One of my concerns would have to be your word choice. You often create confusing sentences by misplacing words in places that interrupt what the sentence should probably state. An example is when you say, "Due to the cause of the atmosphere, the Earth is being affected by it." I think this sentence would have been much more on point if you said, "Due to the heat being trapped in the atmosphere, the Earth is being affected." My other concern is your sentence structure. You should think about reversing the order in which you phrase certain points. That may be beneficial to you and make your sentences more interesting. I think you did a really good job at citing where you got your information from and you did a really good job at explaining the scientific reasoning for the issue.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up Victor?
ReplyDelete1. Your writing did fulfill the assignment because it had a lot of detail that explain the science behind climate change.
2. In the future, you should take your time writing. Also try to use the notes from class as a guide through your writing.
3. I like the fact that you use a lot of detail that explained the science behind your writng.
What’s Up Victor!
ReplyDeleteOverall, I believe your paper was well done. The only major problem with your paper was the consistency of staying on one topic.
One concern I had with your paper was that actual last paragraph. I felt that it should have been much longer than two lines. Being that we know how long an actual paragraph should be.
To make the circle complete, Victor I enjoyed the way you cited information from both the film and the text.
Devin Dixon
Victor
ReplyDelete1) You have some scientific information however, I think that some of the information you started to present scientifically but then did not explain it that way. If you more to the ideas you have then you will be set.
2) There are parts where you started ideas that were great but you didn’t explain scientifically. For example:
1st- You can further explain scientifically about the melting glaciers and its relation to the temperature change.
2nd-Add the scientific detail to the part where you explained about the hurricane and storm and also to the part where you talked about radiation/ the atmosphere.
3) I like the way you incorporated and cited the sources. I also think that you have good details and information that you can just expand on.
1) Yes, most of your essay is scientific explanation.
ReplyDelete2.)
a.)I really like that you cited everything pretty well except you wrote" a documentary film by Al Gore" The film is not by Al Gore, Al Gore is the main person but the film was directed by: Davis Guggenheim.
b.)I like that you bring the polar bears into the blog but you should expand on exactly(scientifically) how their home is being destroyed.
3.)Overall, I like your essay it is pretty clear.